My battle with learning to love my self and make healthy decisions
This is quite the loaded subject, my weight loss story is
both long and has had a few failures. My weight problems began when my family
immigrated to the United States from Mexico. I was 8 and we went from having
fresh made food using fresh veggies and little meat (meat is much more
expensive so it was a luxury) to a whole new world. My school fed me things
like pizza, nachos, fast food was everywhere and extremely cheap. For a
family with two parents working as much as possible to provide for us it was
much easier for our parents to grab some burgers on the way home. Soon I’d gone
from a fairly thin boy to quite chubby kid. I even remember the first time
someone called me fat, I cried and somehow found that eating one of the many
snacks our parents had in our home for us to eat made me feel better. I don’t
want to put all the blame on my parents, they were doing what they came to the
states for. They were working hard and providing us with things we didn’t have
before.
My weight yo-yoed
from age 9-early 20’s. Many people don’t really speak about the effect of body
issues boys deal with. Girls have a lot of attention talking about body image
but there’s not much for boys, being left to just deal with it in silence. My
parents tried to feed us well but having the freedom of picking your own meal
when your parents are working, I took advantage. I tried more times than I can
count to diet and tried every type of diet I heard of. You'd be shocked at how
many different types of diets there are to try but I tried any. Growing up
being the fat kid is hard enough. Add being a bit weird and it made me a target
for many people’s bullying and mean jokes, this lead to a lot of self-hatred and
isolation. I was a very self-destructive teen both mentally and emotionally
torturing myself and letting what people did and said to me mold my views on
me. My weight went up and down throughout my teens but as a junior I made the
choice to become vegetarian. This began my weight loss since I couldn't eat a
lot of the bad stuff at school and I began eating healthier. In my senior
year I finally made some friends that were a positive influence on me. I joined
the tennis team with my best friends (one was the captain of our school's team
and the other was our tennis manager) I was suddenly a lot more active and the
pounds began shedding off. What most people didn't know was that I was dealing
with an eating disorder. Being vegetarian I could just make the case that I couldn't
eat the things at school. I was only eating a single cup of fruit I would bring
from home for lunch. At night I might have a bowl of cheerios to stop my
stomach from hurting and of course the occasional real meal every few days. I
lost about 45 pounds my senior year playing tennis and barely eating. Suddenly I had friends, things to do, was
invited to events and even attended my senior prom. This only proved that I was
worth more thin than fat. People constantly complimented my achievements but somehow I
never felt happy with myself. After
high school my friends began to move away for college, I stopped playing tennis
and became isolated again. Before I knew it I’d gained all the weight back and
then some stopping at 280 pounds.
Fast forward a year at 19 I looked in a mirror and could not
even look at my reflection without nearly bursting into tears. I decided enough
was enough. I’d finally come to terms with my sexuality and I wanted to come
out of the closet. I was met with the reality that gay men are not the nicest
people in the world and that being a fat gay would just be highschool all over
again. I began to cut bad things out of my diet and working out. I lost 30
pounds and that alone was such a confidence boost. Guys were actually beginning
to become interested in me. Then I met a man named Daniel, he somehow looked
past my weight and saw me for who I really was. He never made me feel ugly he
wanted me the way I was and it was actually a scary thought. Since at the time
I could not imagine why anyone would be interested in me. He and I remained
friends and casually dated for about a year. During that year I kept up with my
healthier eating and working out. Slowly losing weight I began to explore the
gay scene of Atlanta. Attending my first pride, going to my first gay club and
it was intoxicating. I made some pretty cool friends and was feeling accepted
by people. Sure I was still the fat friend but here and there boys would
actually hit on me. After a year of playing around in the scene I realized I
was looking for something I already had. Someone who loved me, not my body but
me. Daniel and I became officially a couple and have been together since. He
never once complained about my weight, he taught me I was worth more than my
physical appearance. Being loved is one of the most powerful things that can
happen to someone because it teaches you that you’re worth loving. That’s the
first step to making this change something that actually stuck. He and I began working
out together, I dropped to 210 pounds and I was actually happy with the way I was
starting to look. I began dressing in dress shirts and bowties. People were
complimenting me on my style and my confidence grew. However once I turned 21
the amount of alcohol I was consuming did cause me to gain weight and I went up
to about 230 pounds. On August 2012 I decided due to my love for fashion that I
wanted to be thin. But not because I hated the way I looked, because I knew I
deserved to be healthy, wear the things I wanted, not having to un-tag every
picture I looked fat in and I just wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin. That’s when I began my quest for a healthier,
thinner version of me.
Now that I spoke about what drove me to want a healthier
life I can tell how you I managed to go from 223 to 160 in 9 months. First I'll start with how I changed my diet.
I lost 25 of pounds simply by making huge changes in the way
and how much I was eating. The reason I didn’t work out during this was because
I cut out most carbs and sugars so I didn’t have the extra energy or calories
to burn. Also in prior attempts to lose weight whenever I’d start working out I’d
use it as an excuse to indulge, keeping me at a plateau. Cutting my portions in
more than half and cutting out a lot of the things I was eating was the first step. It was a bit
extreme but my body needed a detox. We don’t really realize how dependent we
are on the bad foods we eat. Yes it was hard, I even had to do the entire
holiday season not eating many sweets and few healthy carbs. Just remember it’s
temporary. You have to take control of your body. I only ate veggies and low
calorie vegetarian protein foods from September to January.
A good tool to use
is the phone application My Fitness Pal. This teaches you how to calorie count
and once you actually see the numbers it shows you how many calories are in the
foods you’re eating. You can search or even just scan the barcode and it will
give you the calories per serving and serving size. If you want results you
have to keep updating it every time you eat. Persistence is the only real way to
stay on track. I lost an average of 2 pounds per week. I only weighed myself
once a week and wrote down my progress, this really helped encourage me. Sometimes you don’t lose any weight or not as
much as the week before but you should always give yourself a 2 pound leeway.
This can be water weight or just one of those days were you weight a little
more. I always weighed myself at the same time of the day, right after working
out and before lunch. Your weight does change slightly throughout the day. Here is a screen cap of my notes where I kept
track of my weight loss. You can see I averaged about 2 pounds a week but
sometimes only lost one or half a pound.
I stopped recording my weight at 168 because my original goal was 170. However I did drop down to 160 before I increased my calorie intake and now I'm at a healthy 165-168.
After my 4 months of very strict dieting I thought it was
time to start working out and this meant increasing my calorie intake. My Fitness
Pal does take working out into your program. You put in how long you worked
out/what you did and it tells you the amount of calories you’ve burned. I
personally used an elliptical. You have to remember when you’re first starting
that you can’t jump into it full force. You need to ease into it. I began by
doing 15 minutes with low resistance and low incline. I added 5 minutes a week and
slowly built up my leg muscles by increasing the resistance until I was doing
40 minutes a day on the elliptical. I know that working out can be boring but
one thing that really helped me was finding shows on Netflix and only watching
while on the elliptical. Find a good show or if you like books do an audio
book. Keep yourself entertained this way you’re not just counting down the
minutes until you’re done. The key is to find a workout routine that works for
you, find a diet that works for you. Even now after I reached my weight goal I
still read the calories on everything I eat and choose healthier options. I may not write down everything I eat but I have a much clearer view on the things I eat. I
know it’s hard being the one friend at the table who orders the salad or salmon
while everyone else gets French fries and a huge burger. People even like to
make you feel bad for making healthy choices but at the end of the day it’s
your body, your decision and screw what people think. You are in control of
your own body and how you treat it, Eat healthy, think healthy and act healthy.
Here is a list of some of the things I didn't allow myself
to have during my 4 month detox. Some of these I still don’t have because
frankly I've found more delicious, healthy snacks to replace them with.
-Processed sugars
-Alcohol
-Non-Wheat breads
-Candy
-Ice cream
-Cake and other pastries
-Soda
-Fried foods of any kind
-Cow milk
-Potato chips / any type of chip like product
-Fast food
-All junk food really.
I know it sounds terrible to cut out your favorite foods
but it’s only temporary (well some of them) By the end of your detox and once
you’re starting to workout you can start having healthier versions of your
favorite things. I replaced cow milk
with unsweetened vanilla almond milk (only 30 calories per serving). I don’t
drink any soda and to be honest I don’t crave the sweets anymore. If I feel the
need to snack fruits and nuts are a great alternative. Even peanut butter (be mindful of
the high calorie content and how much a serving actually is) one of my favorite
snacks is a banana with some peanut butter. It’s filling and rich in flavor. For
me chocolate is a huge weakness so I get to enjoy chocolate in my daily protein
shakes after I workout. That’s also a fantastic incentive to get it done! Find ways to reward yourself by the time you’re
done with the first part you make much better decisions. The best thing about
reaching your ultimate goal is that you can start indulging in your favorite
things, even chocolate! or whatever your vice is. You’re just smarter about your choices in
food. If you love pasta, enjoy pasta. Go for the whole wheat pasta and only have
it once or twice a week. Adding lots of veggies or lean proteins to your meals is great, this
will take up some your servings but replacing the bad parts with just as filling healthy
ingredients. Always use a smaller plate it’s a way to trick your mind that you’re
eating more than you actually are. If you want seconds after you’re done with
your first plate don't just go fill your plate again. Remember that the feeling
of being extremely full is not a positive thing. Give yourself 10-15 minutes
between servings this gives your body time to get the food if you eat a plate
back to back before you know it you’ve over eaten. Another tip is to drink lots
of water, I drink at least two litters of water not only will this help you lose
weight, keep you hydrated but it will keep your skin clear and glowing. Before
I began this strict 2 litters of water daily I’m sure I didn’t even drink one a
day and my skin was terrible. I broke out on a regular basis but now if I do
break out it clears out with in a day or two and it’s rare I get a real
breakout. I personally don’t do sugar
free and fat free things because overly processed foods are harmful to your
body. Fact is that “sugar free” things have to use chemicals your body is not
meant to intake. Fat free things use other things that turn into fat after you
eat it. Be as natural as you can, find a
farmers market near you. They make finding seasonal and local veggies easy and that’s
the key to a healthy and diverse diet. I’m not saying be a vegetarian like me
but eating more veggies will cause you to replace the fatty foods and remain
full. Farmers markets will also have better quality produce at a much cheaper
price than regular stores.
So here is a list of things to remember
-Learn to calorie count using the app My Fitness Pal or
something similar
-Drink 2 litters of water daily
-Wait 15 minutes between servings
-Use smaller plates when serving your food
-If there’s a healthier version of the thing you like go
for that instead
-Find your local farmers market and make weekly trips for
delicious, fresh produce at an affordable price
-Find a tv show you like and only allow yourself to watch
it while working out (or a book you like)
-When you start working out do it slowly, don’t overdo it
or you’ll make excuses next time
-Find a support group within your friends and family
-While dining out you can use your phone to look up the
calorie content of most well known restaurants
-Don’t get discouraged even if you gain a pound or two
one week that shows you that you need to make adjustments to your routine
-Carry a bag of almonds of other nuts with you, this way if you get hungry you can eat a handful of that instead of a candy bar
-If you want to snack get healthy snack like baby carrots
and other very low calorie veggies. They fulfill the craving of something
crunchy for me rather than chips. (or any veggie/fruit that you prefer)
-Best way to avoid snacking is to not buy any! Don’t temp
yourself
-While still losing
weight, only weight yourself once a week. Your weight varies from day to day and
it could lead to discouragement
The key to
maintaining your weight is to stay strict about your workouts but allowing
yourself to have the things you like to eat. If you choose to drink red wine is
a great way to go but always limit yourself to 2 drinks (of course if it’s your
birthday or special occasion and you want to party then do so) it just can’t be
a regular thing. The key is to enjoy the things you like without making it
something you do on a regular basis. Never bring a whole box of cookies or bag
of chips near you. Serve yourself a small portion and put them back in the
kitchen. This way you have to walk all the way back to get more that alone
makes me second guess hmmmm do I really want to go get more? A lot of people
warned me that once I stopped my diet I would gain all the weight back and
more. The reason a lot of people think that is because they are used to these
fad diets that don’t really work. The key is not to diet but to make changes in
your life. Temporary changes will only have temporary results.
I want to mention is that you have to learn to love you
at whatever size you are. When I first lost the weight in high school I did it out
of self-hate in a very self-destructive manner. To this day I suffer from my
anorexic past. Don’t lose weight because you hate yourself do it because you
love yourself enough to want more for you. Trust me this summer was the first
time in so many years that I took my shirt off at a pool. It was the first time
I wore a tank top in public and living in Atlanta we get some pretty brutal
summers. I don’t ever have to worry oh man I have to make sure I untag myself
from the pictures my friends just took because I’m sure I looked terrible. Losing
weight only changes your body not your mind. With that being said the first
time I looked in a mirror and thought “damn you look good!” it was the most
rewarding feeling because I knew I had worked very hard for it. I see these ads
for so many miracle pills but have you actually met someone whose taken these pills and are healthy, fit and happy with themselves? Other people telling you that
you look fantastic is just the cherry on the ice cream cone you can now have guilt
free! Once you’ve found a healthy diet and exercise routine that works
for you maintaining your weight is not that hard. Always give yourself a 2-3 pound
leeway and don't freak out if you've randomly gained a few pounds. Stay focused and you'll be back to seeing those lower numbers.
I hope that my journey helps other people find their own
path. I’m not saying my way will work for everyone just like all the mainstream
diets work for everyone but it’s really just common sense. Eat less, eat
healthy, be active and stay positive. This is going to affect you in so many
other ways than just your pants size. Working out is a fantastic stress reliever
and for someone who deals with some anxiety I’ve found it as a great way to get
my mind back to normal. Good luck on all your goals and remember that you're not alone.
With my love and good wishes, Luis.
now for some pictures showing how much my appearance has changed from last year.
June 2012
September 2013
